"Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives." - William Dement
via Brain Rules
Showing posts with label my weird subconscious. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my weird subconscious. Show all posts
March 2, 2010
January 10, 2010
round and around and up and down
Today I cleaned the apartment and had to take the trash out. I don't know if you remember my back steps, but this is what they look like.
Imagine that covered in 6 inches of snow, all of which needed to be brushed off in order to even attempt going down the ice-covered steps. When I say ice covered, I mean an inch of rounded ice on every step, bubbling up to fit into the arches of my feet. At the bottom is a van parked a foot away from the last step, meaning that when one walks down the steps with a trash bag, one has to either fall off the steps to the right in the direction of the snow pile or one has to use the van to steady themselves to avoid falling into the snow pile. It is not the easiest thing in the world, taking out the trash in the winter. I suppose I could do what my neighbors do - pile it up outside on the porch next to the back door.
Today I am making broccoli cheese soup from this recipe. I'll let you know how it goes. I've been briefly thinking about seeing if we want to do a MRC cookbook for a social events project.
I wish I knew grammar better.
Sometimes we forget about the painful things in our lives until they ambush us suddenly, unexpectedly. It's like they sense we're doing ok and come back to haunt us.
The most played song on my iTunes is Chubby Checker's "Let's Twist Again" from the Mad Men soundtrack.
Andrew made fun of me because I finally put a picture of us in a frame on my desk. Whatever, he's got a beard.
I had two dreams last night, one that this guy was chasing me and someone else around my dad's house, first just scarily and then with a giant butcher knife. I was hiding in my dad's closet behind all the clothes and shoes (where my mom used to hide christmas presents when we were growing up) and then I decided it'd be better to get into the bathroom and lock the door, but just as I went there he ran around the corner with the butcher knife and stabbed me. I woke up before he stabbed me, though. Then I dreamed that the Catholic House was a cabin in the woods and we all lived in one big room with cots lined up next to one another. It was morning and a bunch of us were just sitting in our beds under the covers talking. My cot was next to Josh's. On the opposite wall was big windows looking out into the woods and it was probably November since there weren't any leaves on the trees but no snow. There was also a big screen tv on the wall that we could watch. For some reason, we also were rounding up Santa Clauses and keeping them in a waist high pen out in the yard, which is illogical since they could easily get out. It was like a deer pen, really. We also went to a museum with Bill Murray.
It always seems that whenever I have a scary dream, no one is there to comfort me. Stupid boyfriend visiting his parents. I suppose that's why I conjured up my Catholic House to make me feel better. And it did.
Last week sometime I also had a dream I lost my running shoes after a race. I looked all around, outside where I took them off where the race ended and inside of the restaurant serving post-race food. Eventually I found them with a bunch of other shoes and race stuff outside the bathrooms.
Honestly, I swear my subconscious just does what it wants.
Imagine that covered in 6 inches of snow, all of which needed to be brushed off in order to even attempt going down the ice-covered steps. When I say ice covered, I mean an inch of rounded ice on every step, bubbling up to fit into the arches of my feet. At the bottom is a van parked a foot away from the last step, meaning that when one walks down the steps with a trash bag, one has to either fall off the steps to the right in the direction of the snow pile or one has to use the van to steady themselves to avoid falling into the snow pile. It is not the easiest thing in the world, taking out the trash in the winter. I suppose I could do what my neighbors do - pile it up outside on the porch next to the back door.
Today I am making broccoli cheese soup from this recipe. I'll let you know how it goes. I've been briefly thinking about seeing if we want to do a MRC cookbook for a social events project.
I wish I knew grammar better.
Sometimes we forget about the painful things in our lives until they ambush us suddenly, unexpectedly. It's like they sense we're doing ok and come back to haunt us.
The most played song on my iTunes is Chubby Checker's "Let's Twist Again" from the Mad Men soundtrack.
Andrew made fun of me because I finally put a picture of us in a frame on my desk. Whatever, he's got a beard.
I had two dreams last night, one that this guy was chasing me and someone else around my dad's house, first just scarily and then with a giant butcher knife. I was hiding in my dad's closet behind all the clothes and shoes (where my mom used to hide christmas presents when we were growing up) and then I decided it'd be better to get into the bathroom and lock the door, but just as I went there he ran around the corner with the butcher knife and stabbed me. I woke up before he stabbed me, though. Then I dreamed that the Catholic House was a cabin in the woods and we all lived in one big room with cots lined up next to one another. It was morning and a bunch of us were just sitting in our beds under the covers talking. My cot was next to Josh's. On the opposite wall was big windows looking out into the woods and it was probably November since there weren't any leaves on the trees but no snow. There was also a big screen tv on the wall that we could watch. For some reason, we also were rounding up Santa Clauses and keeping them in a waist high pen out in the yard, which is illogical since they could easily get out. It was like a deer pen, really. We also went to a museum with Bill Murray.
It always seems that whenever I have a scary dream, no one is there to comfort me. Stupid boyfriend visiting his parents. I suppose that's why I conjured up my Catholic House to make me feel better. And it did.
Last week sometime I also had a dream I lost my running shoes after a race. I looked all around, outside where I took them off where the race ended and inside of the restaurant serving post-race food. Eventually I found them with a bunch of other shoes and race stuff outside the bathrooms.
Honestly, I swear my subconscious just does what it wants.
August 29, 2009
things of note:
1. The kids at my work LOVE Michael Jackson.
2. I had a dream last night that I was wearing clerical garb, but in my dream I also made sure to note that I was "just a deacon."
3. I look like a Target employee in my red MRC polo.
4. We went to the Humane Society to look at cats today. I still want one.
2. I had a dream last night that I was wearing clerical garb, but in my dream I also made sure to note that I was "just a deacon."
3. I look like a Target employee in my red MRC polo.
4. We went to the Humane Society to look at cats today. I still want one.
May 2, 2008
Crappy day.
These past 24 hours haven't been the best of my life, to be honest.
I saw the Daily Show had tickets available for their taping in St. Paul during the Republican National Convention in early September. I'll be back at school by then, so I sent links around to my friends in the Cities, to Andrew, to Kari. They had two days open so I thought they'd have a great chance to get tickets. I get a message from Andrew a few hours later asking me if I had reserved tickets. Yeah, they were already all booked by then. Damn it! I should have just reserved some and not forwarded links. I felt really bad about it since I saw there were two days available, but I didn't think to. Anyway, I reserved tickets for the regular taping in New York the weekend of Andrew's fall break, so hopefully he'll be able to come out and visit me and we can go then. It's the first weekend in May and already I've reserved tickets for late October. Crazy.
Second disappointment was this morning when I was getting ready, I accidentally knocked my amber cross off the ledge into my sink, where it broke into two pieces and fell down the drain. I would have tried to fish it out but it was already broken and I was going to be late for work. I got that in high school in Lithuania... I've had it for a really long time and I'd been meaning to get a new string for it. And now it's gone forever. I feel really bad about that too.
Apart from that, life has been just regular. So regular + bad things = crappy day. I'm just going to hole up in my apartment and do nothing all weekend. I'm going to see if I can wear my sweatpants all weekend long. I think I can do it. I have a paper due on Friday that I should start, but that can wait still. I usually don't get down about stuff, but those things separately blow and together just are super, super lame.
Oh yeah! Plus last night I had a dream that my whole family ended up dying and my parents died and Kari died and I don't know if Erich killed them, but then I knew I had to leave our house (I knew it was our house but it wasn't our actual house, if you know what I mean), but I could go and it was sad but then Erich died too... I don't know. It was kinda upsetting.
I wouldn't say that I'm depressed about this stuff, but I'm not happy about it either. I don't know. Maybe I'm just ready for the semester to be over. Maybe it needs to stop raining! It was sunny out last week and I was in a good mood. Now it's rained and been cloudy the past few days. That's it... It's the weather's fault.
I saw the Daily Show had tickets available for their taping in St. Paul during the Republican National Convention in early September. I'll be back at school by then, so I sent links around to my friends in the Cities, to Andrew, to Kari. They had two days open so I thought they'd have a great chance to get tickets. I get a message from Andrew a few hours later asking me if I had reserved tickets. Yeah, they were already all booked by then. Damn it! I should have just reserved some and not forwarded links. I felt really bad about it since I saw there were two days available, but I didn't think to. Anyway, I reserved tickets for the regular taping in New York the weekend of Andrew's fall break, so hopefully he'll be able to come out and visit me and we can go then. It's the first weekend in May and already I've reserved tickets for late October. Crazy.
Second disappointment was this morning when I was getting ready, I accidentally knocked my amber cross off the ledge into my sink, where it broke into two pieces and fell down the drain. I would have tried to fish it out but it was already broken and I was going to be late for work. I got that in high school in Lithuania... I've had it for a really long time and I'd been meaning to get a new string for it. And now it's gone forever. I feel really bad about that too.
Apart from that, life has been just regular. So regular + bad things = crappy day. I'm just going to hole up in my apartment and do nothing all weekend. I'm going to see if I can wear my sweatpants all weekend long. I think I can do it. I have a paper due on Friday that I should start, but that can wait still. I usually don't get down about stuff, but those things separately blow and together just are super, super lame.
Oh yeah! Plus last night I had a dream that my whole family ended up dying and my parents died and Kari died and I don't know if Erich killed them, but then I knew I had to leave our house (I knew it was our house but it wasn't our actual house, if you know what I mean), but I could go and it was sad but then Erich died too... I don't know. It was kinda upsetting.
I wouldn't say that I'm depressed about this stuff, but I'm not happy about it either. I don't know. Maybe I'm just ready for the semester to be over. Maybe it needs to stop raining! It was sunny out last week and I was in a good mood. Now it's rained and been cloudy the past few days. That's it... It's the weather's fault.
March 30, 2008
Unicorns!
While in Ireland, I had a dream that I was a unicorn!
No, not that unicorn. Just a regular unicorn (as if there is such a thing as a regular unicorn). I was a beautiful unicorn prancing around the countryside, trying to decide what to do. I was in love with Andrew, but he was a human. People didn't like that a unicorn and a human were in love, so they tried to kill us. We ran around the countryside (which was really just like a big yard on a hill) avoiding death traps and then we got pinned down by people shooting guns at us. Then I woke up.
The moral of the unicorn dream story is this: if you don't like Andrew and I being in love, I will unicorn-chop you! With my magical horn!
Ok, so the unicorn-chop part wasn't in my dream, but I feel that's what would have happened next if I had kept sleeping.
I e-mailed my film professor a paper topic idea at the beginning of this week. I wasn't sure if it was a topic he'd get behind, and it took him forever to email me back. So I spent the whole week semi-freaking out that I'd have to think of a new topic. I'm actually interested in the one I have now, so that's making the research a lot easier to do. I was worried I'd end up writing about something I had little to no interest in and that it'd show in my work.
Here's what I e-mailed my professor: " You mentioned widescreen as a participatory practice and some of Sobchack's
thoughts on repetition and the collapsing of temporality (lots of good stuff on
33-36). I'd like to tie these ideas to DeMille's '56 The Ten Commandments and
how the film invites participation through its content and the yearly Easter
showing. It's interesting because through the telling of Passover, it makes
present the past but also relates to seders and the repetition and
story-telling that occurs there. It allows for participation in the film (if
vicariously) along with the holiday - reminds me of the oldest church ever
found that has paintings on the baptistry wall of disciples going to Jesus'
tomb to find him resurrected, as if they are on their way to your baptism to
find you resurrected - another collapsing of past and present. However, it's
also complicated through the yearly television showing around Easter and how
DeMille constructs Moses as a Christ-figure - but at the same time, that
incites participation and ritual, clearly emphasizing the representation of the
event."
Anyway, that's my idea for my paper topic for my film class. I think it'll work out, and so does my professor. Which makes me glad.
In between the preliminary research for this paper and another paper on Scorsese's use of Sacred Heart imagery in The Last Temptation of Christ, I've been hitting the library like mad. I've requested lots of books from other libraries, scoured the divinity library (finding very useful books sitting next to the non-useful book I looked up) and I have a huge stack of books checked out. I barely have the shelf space for all of them. I've started piling books up in front of other books.
I bought some tikka sauce at the grocery store yesterday, and I'm testing it out today. I'm afraid I might have over-tikka'ed my meal tonight, but we'll see how it goes. I'm seasoning my chicken with the sauce and I mixed a small spoonful into the rice I made. I have a big thing of yogurt, so let's hope that balances it if it's too spicy - although for me, it's rare to find something too spicy. Unless Erich cooked it.
No, not that unicorn. Just a regular unicorn (as if there is such a thing as a regular unicorn). I was a beautiful unicorn prancing around the countryside, trying to decide what to do. I was in love with Andrew, but he was a human. People didn't like that a unicorn and a human were in love, so they tried to kill us. We ran around the countryside (which was really just like a big yard on a hill) avoiding death traps and then we got pinned down by people shooting guns at us. Then I woke up.
The moral of the unicorn dream story is this: if you don't like Andrew and I being in love, I will unicorn-chop you! With my magical horn!
Ok, so the unicorn-chop part wasn't in my dream, but I feel that's what would have happened next if I had kept sleeping.
I e-mailed my film professor a paper topic idea at the beginning of this week. I wasn't sure if it was a topic he'd get behind, and it took him forever to email me back. So I spent the whole week semi-freaking out that I'd have to think of a new topic. I'm actually interested in the one I have now, so that's making the research a lot easier to do. I was worried I'd end up writing about something I had little to no interest in and that it'd show in my work.
Here's what I e-mailed my professor: " You mentioned widescreen as a participatory practice and some of Sobchack's
thoughts on repetition and the collapsing of temporality (lots of good stuff on
33-36). I'd like to tie these ideas to DeMille's '56 The Ten Commandments and
how the film invites participation through its content and the yearly Easter
showing. It's interesting because through the telling of Passover, it makes
present the past but also relates to seders and the repetition and
story-telling that occurs there. It allows for participation in the film (if
vicariously) along with the holiday - reminds me of the oldest church ever
found that has paintings on the baptistry wall of disciples going to Jesus'
tomb to find him resurrected, as if they are on their way to your baptism to
find you resurrected - another collapsing of past and present. However, it's
also complicated through the yearly television showing around Easter and how
DeMille constructs Moses as a Christ-figure - but at the same time, that
incites participation and ritual, clearly emphasizing the representation of the
event."
Anyway, that's my idea for my paper topic for my film class. I think it'll work out, and so does my professor. Which makes me glad.
In between the preliminary research for this paper and another paper on Scorsese's use of Sacred Heart imagery in The Last Temptation of Christ, I've been hitting the library like mad. I've requested lots of books from other libraries, scoured the divinity library (finding very useful books sitting next to the non-useful book I looked up) and I have a huge stack of books checked out. I barely have the shelf space for all of them. I've started piling books up in front of other books.
I bought some tikka sauce at the grocery store yesterday, and I'm testing it out today. I'm afraid I might have over-tikka'ed my meal tonight, but we'll see how it goes. I'm seasoning my chicken with the sauce and I mixed a small spoonful into the rice I made. I have a big thing of yogurt, so let's hope that balances it if it's too spicy - although for me, it's rare to find something too spicy. Unless Erich cooked it.
March 3, 2008
The subconscious of a Bacher
I've had some rather odd dreams lately, and since I've been writing them down I'm beginning to notice a trend running through them. A lot have to do with going back to high school or situations with people I knew from high school.... And now that I'm actually looking back through what I've written, a lot of them have to do with high school. In one I was a waitress and I wasn't getting orders right and I was messing up, and one of my customers was this girl I used to be friends with in high school; or East was putting on a version of a play I wrote and the director changed the whole moral of the play (it was a feminist play and he completely made it misogynistic), or even just dreams being set at high school.
I don't know what (if) my subconscious is telling me, but it's odd that so many are similar. I suppose there's some unspoken standard I have to meet and I'm afraid of meeting it or that people will judge me based on what I've done post-East. I suppose also there's a chance it's a big load of crap, because I have also dreamed that Natalie lived in a house made of Mongolian/gerbil fur and also that the patriarchy was physically inside of me and I needed to get it out.
Mom visited this weekend and it was lots of fun! We walked around downtown into a couple of shops, got some Yale gear, cuddled, watched movies, went to a little market for food and made some delicious Cuban chili with cumin and cilantro, went to the hockey game (we won, 3-0), went to the sailor bar. I told her she should quit that job and move in with her daughter. Mom, you can visit me anytime! Katie, you should visit too! Kari, you can visit too!
80 hours until I leave for Ireland!
I don't know what (if) my subconscious is telling me, but it's odd that so many are similar. I suppose there's some unspoken standard I have to meet and I'm afraid of meeting it or that people will judge me based on what I've done post-East. I suppose also there's a chance it's a big load of crap, because I have also dreamed that Natalie lived in a house made of Mongolian/gerbil fur and also that the patriarchy was physically inside of me and I needed to get it out.
Mom visited this weekend and it was lots of fun! We walked around downtown into a couple of shops, got some Yale gear, cuddled, watched movies, went to a little market for food and made some delicious Cuban chili with cumin and cilantro, went to the hockey game (we won, 3-0), went to the sailor bar. I told her she should quit that job and move in with her daughter. Mom, you can visit me anytime! Katie, you should visit too! Kari, you can visit too!
80 hours until I leave for Ireland!
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